Wednesday, February 9, 2011

And After The Bagel Shop...


So life happened yet again, on my last trip. This time I was in Mumbai for the weekend catching up with my best buddy who I hadn't met for over 3 months.You know, when one is that close (like how I am with my best bud), 3 months can seem like a lifetime. Funny how then, when people live for a healthy, long 60 years, and finally go up above, we end up saying ' poor guy, he wasn't that old after all' This brings me back to my belief of how everything in life is relative and more importantly its about HOW you live your life instead of HOW LONG you life it for!

Saturday afternoon, and we were catching up over brunch in this lovely, quaint little place - The Bagel Shop. Love how Mumbai has so many different characters and contrasts - be it from a noisy street, to taking a left turn 10 meters ahead, to enter a shop like the one above. Think about people? - well you find all kinds - from a common man, to a celebrity munching on the same thing in the same shop. So different, yet so similar, isn't it? - it surely is a place that binds people in someway or the other.

So we wrapped brunch at around half 1, when my buddy decided to go do a meeting, and I decided to catch up on this friend who I had not met in a while - yes, I was busy catching up. Little did I know, that meeting with her would result in what I am writing right now and you would read in sometime!

A little background - I have know this friend for almost a couple of years, and if any of you want to find her, do not WATCH out for her, but 'HEAR' out for her. She is all of 4'11'? ok... 5 feet and full of life. So before you can see her, you would hear her. Why? She had an energy that is infectious, confidence that is unmatched and a smile that would put an uneasy soul to rest in a second! She is someone who has the ' I don't give a FU&^' attitude and is forever happy. So yes, this was the person I was going to meet. Who I discovered that day turned out to be nothing close to this, but at the same time a lot more endearing. Yes, this is what happened, After The Bagel Shop....

This was a new house that she had moved into, and the house warming party which was originally planned, never happened. What happened instead was me getting a lot of time with her, which was brilliant. The new house was small, and had a very warm vibe to it - strange how the owners look for themselves when they look for houses! I gave in to my temptation and became a temporary smoker (eventually) over our chai and sutta sessions. Let me also share, that most of what I had seen of dinku (not the real name), was her in her workspace. So this truly was the first time we met per se..

The conversations started over the customary 'what have you been upto', what each of us thinks about bollywood, how relationships have become so transactional etc etc. So while the topics were visibly (and audibly) diverse, the GOOD constant factor was the ginger tea. Finally round 3, is when I agreed to make tea, which is when dinku and I got talking about things about us - me about me and her about her. Trying to be the chivalrous man that I want to be - I let her take over and do most of the talking. Our steps outside of the kitchen, led us to her little verandah, which opens out to a lovely tree with shades of green, red and maroon leaves. As we stood there and spoke, it was as if dinku shed her inhibited side, just like how the tree had shed all its leaves. Or maybe on second thoughts, I saw in dinku, the new colorful leaves, which she had been trying to hide for so long.

Dinku that day, spoke about her life, what she is passionate about etc. As she spoke, I gradually saw the fun side in her giving way to the thoughtful, contemplative person, which I now believe lives inside each one of us. Dinku looked into the open sky up above while talking, as if looking out for divinity to help her find some answers. This fun person who I had known all this while, suddenly, I realized was also a person who had been hurt very deep. No prizes for guessing it was a man and yes the impact it left on her was similar to how you and I would also feel - hurt, betrayed, scared to open our heart out and not feel like a 'teenager' when one is in love. What made her different (in my mind), was how she handled the last 8 years since then. She chose to be the stronger one and 'TAKE CHARGE' of her life, her career, her job, herself.

In the process - WOW! she turned out to be this person who you would take an instant liking to and want to know more. So the last 8 years (outwardly), had been happy. Inside, dinku was a classic dichotomy. She had a mind that was crowded and noisy (more than all the mumbai chawls put together), a heart that was beautiful but scared, and a soul that wanted only love, but also ran away from it, by not giving in as much.

By the end of it all, while I saw a different person in her, I also realized that she was similar to all of us. Similar in how she got hurt, how her heart was also dented and bruised like ours and how she wanted love all over again, but was scared of it at the same time. Its really strange, how what we call ' A MAJOR' heartbreak, or a relationship that makes only 10% of our overall lifespan (mathematically), impacts us so much. So much, that we overlook every other thing, person and soul around us.

Dinku today is on the crossroads of life and turning a new leaf - she quits her job to travel without a plan, and more importantly she thinks (only thinks) that she is ready to love - all over again. While its taken almost 8 years of her being in a shell, not loving and chasing the wrong people to realize this,and start living and loving her life - hopefully most of all the other people I know and some of you who are reading this wont take that long!

So dinku and to a few of you who are reading this - here's to you and you discovering life and love all over again - CHEERS!

24 comments:

Harshi said...

Hi Sriram,
Loved your post about your friend. As I was reading it, I was reminded of a passage I read recently called "Warrior of the Light" by Paulo Coelho. It reminds us that no one is perfect and has had a perfect life, but what makes us warriors of the light is our hope and desire to be better than what we have been or are. I wish your friend much strength, grace, happiness, and love in her journey. Life's most painful moments break us down, but also have the power to redeem us. It takes awareness and consciousness to not go down the other path of fear and seclusion, but turn to love again gradually if we are to live fully and develop our souls. I could really relate with this. Thoughtful post.. and I love your webpage! Keep writing!
Harshi

Bhasha said...

Hey Sri,
A very powerful piece. Its very touching. It's said time
And time again that the Heart is the most strongest
Yet so very fragile at thesame time. I once attended
An exhibition (photos) which was titles a story behind
Every face. How true is that. We all suffer from heart
Breaks which mould us and makes us who we are. Just
1 q, do these struggles make us stop and reconnect with
Our own soul? Maybe one day when we are 70/80, we may look back and see that these reconnecting our soul took on a road less travelled, hence adding to the development of our soul.
Bhasha

JustMaguire said...

Harshi & Bhasha,

Thanks a lot- so glad to know you liked it! Thanks for all the encouragement

bOrN 2........................................................................................ said...

hi,
agree with u , n true friends no matter how long it takes 2 meet again they will always welcome with the open army with no complaint n no demand.

Akhil said...

I really enjoyed reading this post ! Simple, but artistically subtle and beautiful. Excellent job !!!

praptea said...

Nice Article Shri .. I really enjoyed reading it .. Keep writing cheers :)

DelennDax7 said...

"Its really strange, how what we call 'A MAJOR' heartbreak, or a relationship that makes only 10% of our overall lifespan (mathematically), impacts us so much. So much, that we overlook every other thing, person and soul around us."

It's mind-boggling how powerful love is and what strong importance we put on it in our lives! Everybody wants someone to love, even NEEDS someone to love, to love them back. It IS important, but, it's shocking how consuming it can be in your mind. It's shocking how the passage of time doesn't seem real when you're consumed with memories of both love & hurt. It's a struggle to let go of it..either to break up when you need to, or to let go of a breakup that's already happened. It can consume so many years of your life, so much of your personal energy & resources..yet it only seems like yesterday.

It's a shame that it takes so long to heal from all this love "stuff"..but hopefully, something important is learned for the next time around. Are you familiar with Garth Brooks's song "The Dance"? I really love that song! Here's the main message of the song:

How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance


Really a good posting, Sri

JustMaguire said...

Thanks a ton - everyone to take time off and read this for one, and more importantly leave me such lovely messages!

Much love :)

ashwini said...

hi sriram, a friend of mine told me to read this. this is a beautiful piece. so simply put yet perfectly.
kudos to u :) :)

JustMaguire said...

Thanks, Ashwini - means a lot! :)

Anonymous said...

congratulations you write beautifully ,long live the frienship.

DecerningThoughts said...

All I could do was say wow while reading this.. I like how you painted the picture for us as if we were there watching/listening to this play out before our eyes!!

I understand a lot of her pain, yet the ability to go on.. The passion to jet fly by the seat of her pants and travel..

Wonderful Entry.. I look forward to reading a lot more of this!

Nandita said...

Heyy...
Really well written...
I completely agree with whatever you said about yor perpective...
I mean.. when I was reading about 'dinku'.... I somehow felt..that there is someone like her even in me.... :)
Truely Like :)

Samrita said...

I could use some Dinku sensibility right now...
Engaging words, love it!

iamriz said...

hey Sri all I wanna say is,"YOU'RE THE BEST WRITER" !!! I love readin all u write,dunno if u hav any fans o not but im definitely ur new-born fan.While I read each line,it makes me more curious/inquisitive to knw what happens next,well I guess its the effect of ur deep words.You hav a phenomenal way of writing n expressing life situations which is possible only if u hav a good mind to think so deep.And it looks lik u were completely lost writing this blog as u were lost thinkin n observin ur friend.Kudos to u :)Definitely lookin forward to read more from u so keep writing ...

18b833ae-e6d9-11e0-a00f-000bcdcb5194 said...

We must not depend on anyone except listen to the beating of our hearts...it is true..faith without intellect is blind and for fanatics..intellect without faith is unhealthy... all we need to have in the center of our lives is the correct teaching.then we will be washed and healed and soothed and back to being our bestest.. peace.

Kumari said...

Awesome read... sensitivity and humility is the cloak of the wise.Pleasure reading your stuff dude.

Iman Roy said...

Next Chetan Bhagat (not in making ... but fully made already).. jokes apart, kash I have a friend like Dinku ... as I was reading this, I was totally surprised ... because Dinku is so me ... she is exactly like me, at least as expressed in your words ... give her a same from my side ... and keep up the gud writing ... take care and God has always blessed u ... more to come :)

Nirupama said...

Hi JM!

I really liked this post of yours... All through it I went, "ditto"! You speak my mind! Love the way you've written it!

Keep writing! :-)
Niru

DrIndira Chakraborty said...

An evryday story of Dinku's spread all over around us brought to our attention by ur compassion for her leading to a beautifull write.Your way of detailing is so good that the story unfolds very picturesquely with a part of evryone of us relating to her some way or the other.That's the trick of a good writer.They relate their things with the mass.Thank u.

AK said...

Great post. Could so relate to Dinku. I read some of your posts and loved your writing. You've got some great feature writing techniques in there.

AK

haiqua rassie said...

Love ur blogg!! really beautiful... im reading ur bloggs like reading stories.. love it!! jus amazingg!! :)

upasana said...

Wow!!!! reallyy touching..specially the lines 'Similar in how she got hurt, how her heart was also dented and bruised like ours and how she wanted love all over again, but was scared of it at the same time'.

Sunshine said...

This is very beautiful and touching! Just the fact that your friend has been so strong through the experience and taken charge of her life shows that she is a fighter and will never give up!! Wish her the best...and I'm sure she is glad to have a friend like you!!